As we continue to follow Lois’ exploits in millinery, one question comes to mind, or at least to my mind. Does she really get paid well enough to afford all of these hats? I can’t recall the story at present, but it involves designer clothing rip-offs. In it, Lois lays out $150 (close to a cool $2,300 in today’s money) for an original creation. Then there’s this exchange:
(which makes Lois seeing the same dress on sale for $7.50 two panels later all the more fun), so perhaps Lois does have the money.
As an aside, Clark’s reaction make me wonder how much he lays out on all those identical suits of his. Eight bucks each? Ten? Clark, you spendthrift, you!
But back to Lois. So she has the money, maybe, but does she have the space? Sure, some of these creations look collapsable, but still, if Lois wears a new hat every week, where does she put them all? It looks as though they’d crowd her out of hat and home! (‘Dad joke.’ Sorry.)
Finally, a note: in Part One of this series, I used sources to help me identify the types of hats Lois was wearing to the best of my poor, fashion-ignorant ability. But from Superman #9 onward, the artists often drift so far afield from those that I simply can’t. I leave it to you, if you wish, to try it yourself. If you do so, be certain to let me know so I can include the info. If you like, I’ll be happy to also include your name or non de web and where to see what you do on the wild ‘n wooly web.
Now on to the hats.
In Superman #9 Lois decides to wear a cushion affixed to a skullcap. Or maybe it’s a flower like the one Peter Gabriel used to wear on stage. (Yes, I know hats like that have a real name—I think it’s another fascinator—but look at that thing, be honest, and tell me it doesn’t resemble a cushion)
Also, for some reason, Superman is playing hide and seek with her. Oh, sure, the story supplies a reason, but I’m sure that somewhere in its archives Superdickery has a more amusing one. If not, Mike Miksch is getting slow.
In the same issue, while investigating the “Mystery in Swasey Swamp,” Lois sports a serious feather in her cap. Two of them in fact. Don’t get too close, fella! She’ll tickle your nose!
(I suspect the odd angle of the feathers in that second panel is just a perspective error on penciller Paul Cassidy‘s part, but still… Also, for some interesting information on Cassidy and the working of the Shuster Shop, look here)
This next hat comes from “Jackson’s Murder Ring.”
But she does have a heart, Clark! A purple one! Can’t your fancy super-vision see it perched on her head? Because I certainly can.
This isn’t a hat, but I simply have to include it. Lois is undercover, and she’s chosen an utterly impenetrable disguise:
So if you ever wondered why it took Lois so long to work out Superman’s secret identity, now you know.
(If ever. I don’t really know—yet—when or, to be more accurate, when or if in this continuity Lois learns that Clark is Superman, or Superman is Clark, depending on how the writer at the moment is handling the character. Since these older comics technically occur on Earth 2 until the first Crisis—a whole ‘nother ball of wax that I intend to get to eventually—took place, I’m not sure this Lois ever does. I do know the ever-rebooting DC eventually decided to let the Post (first) Crisis Lois know that Clark is Superman [I think it happened in 1997 to coincide with Lois learning Clark’s other identity in the TV show Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman], but, as I said, I’m not sure that Lois is the same as the Lois in the 1940’s continuity, of the ‘New 52’ whatsis, or even the Lois of the current one. I hope so, as in a collection I recently read they are married and have a child, but you never know what corporate heads will decide to do. Look at what happened to poor Peter Parker because of all Marvel’s Civil War hoopla. Anyway, in either case, I’m not sure about the Lois of Earth 2, although I think perhaps she and Clark married there, too. At least I know there was a teenaged Superman Jr. or some equivalent zipping around for a while in World’s Finest in the 70’s, a character I fully intend to cover later, because what I recall of him is truly strange. Ah, the twisted web continuity shifts weave!)
In Superman #10, Lois sports this perky number. I wish I could show you all the panels showing that feather tickling the sky, but I don’t want to go overboard.
In the next story, Lois finally goes Full Robin Hood, green dress and all.
Is the takeaway never go Full Robin Hood in the DC Universe unless you’re Green Arrow (who I’m fairly sure hadn’t been created yet)? Possibly, but if so, the main reason not to do it is because without a bow, you look a trifle odd.
If you were leering at the receptionist there, hold on to your capes, because Lois is the next woman to use that outfit.
Although Wayne Boring never draws Lois quite as slinky as he does the previous girls, who were criminals, after all. Still, I wonder if this is where the writers of the aforementioned Lois and Clark series got the idea to dress Teri Hatcher in a similar outfit (look at about 0:40).
In “The Dukalia Spy Ring” Lois wears, well, this:
I’d call it a baseball cap, but it’s… not.
For the Superman #11 tale “Zimba’s Gold Badge Terrorists,” Lois chooses lime green and, yet again, what I can only refer to as ‘this.’ Back view:
Front view:
I think that the artist—Leo Nowak—got a little confused, but then again, later views of both back and front look pretty much the same. Maybe it’s the wind of Clark vanishing and showing up again.
Lois keeps wearing this hat for a really long time in this story, so we get more looks again, both back:
And front:
But I’m honestly not sure they help any. It’s an enigma wrapped in a mystery perched upon Lois’ head.
Moving on, in “The Corinthville Caper,” Lois sticks to green, but wears a different hat. Again, Leo Nowak is kind enough to provide us with a rear view:
And front:
I don’t know what to say about this creation except that perhaps something has been snacking upon it. Also, Lois, please! Clark is not cowardly; he’s mild-mannered. We’re told so. Often.
For the next story, ‘The Yellow Plague,” Lois proudly dons a bottle cork.
Which soon begins to slip off her head.
I suppose that’s better than, ah, popping.
Had enough? I hope not, because I haven’! Stay tuned, because next time the hats get truly strange. And yes, I’m looking right at the bottle cork hat as I write this. Unless you’ve read these oldies, too, you have no idea…
…but you will.
I do not claim ownership of any of the partial image representations posted here.